Today I am grateful for grace.
Grace means elegance, or refinement.
It also means “the unearned gift of God.”
When Thomas Covenant returned to the Land, to fight Lord Foul, he was told by an old friend, “This is the grace that was given to you: to bear what must be borne.”
I have spent most of my life believing that I have this grace too, an ability to absorb damage and move on, a capacity for hurt and grief beyond rational limits, a strength of character that leads to resistance against hurt and anguish.
I wonder now if I have that grace anymore. In fact, I question whether I ever had it, or if I have just been fooling myself. Maybe I was just a masochist, who derived pleasure from being abused. I don’t know.
I am still grateful for the concept of grace. What a uniquely human concept: that we can be granted boons that we did not deserve, did not earn, but that could very well help us make it through this crummy, crappy life.
It’s a noble idea, at least.
I am trying to be grateful for 365 things in my 48th year. Tonight I’m struggling with #6.
It’s going to be a long year.
This is post #10 out of 1000 that I’m attempting to write in 2017. There’s not a chance in hell that it’s going to happen, but hey, come mock my efforts over at the Chaostician page.